BULLYING
Bullying Prevention and Bullying Effects
Bullying
By Vanessa Rasmussen, © 2006-2010, All rights reserved.
Bullying
can be defined as repeated and systematic harassment and attacks on others
considered weaker. It is any behavior which intends to hurt another person
physically or emotionally. It includes not only the more obvious actions like
punching, kicking, name-calling and teasing, but also spreading rumors, pointing
out physical handicaps, shouting racial taunts, excluding victims from groups,
and humiliating.
Children who are intimidated, threatened, or
harmed by bullies often experience low self-esteem and depression, whereas
those bullying may go on to engage in more serious antisocial behaviors as
adults. Bullies often have been the victims of bullying or other mistreatment
themselves.
Young children are more likely to tell parents
or caretakers about them being bullied than older children. If you suspect
that your child is a victim of bullying, look out for the following signs:
- Reluctance or refusal to go to school
- Starts bullying younger siblings or children
of relatives and friends
- Becomes aggressive, rude or disobedient
- Becomes withdrawn and shuts himself up in
his room
- Difficulty in sleeping, bedwetting
- Comes home with physical injuries
- Stops eating
- Poor academic performance, seems distracted
Remember, bullying occurs without the knowledge
of teachers and parents, and that most victims are extremely reluctant to
talk to adults about their problems. They may be ashamed and afraid that their
parents and teachers may end up making the situation worse.
There is no 'right' time for you to talk with
your child about bullying. Ask the child directly if he/she is being bullied.
The child might deny it initially, but with patience he/she would surely relent.
Provide practical solutions on how to find a way around it. Plan out ways
with your child to avoid the situations where the bullying occurs. One of
the biggest mistakes parents make is to teach their kids to physically fight
back. This can only make things worse. Work with the school immediately to
make sure your child is safe, that effective measures are undertaken to stop
the bully, and that monitoring at school is adequate.
Bullies often target lonely and timid children.
Encourage your child to socialize and make friends. This will also make them
feel confident. Focus on the child's strengths and interests and motivate
the child to enhance his/her capabilities.
If your child is the bully, take the situation
very seriously. Talk with your child and tell him that this kind of behavior
will not be acceptable. Try to find the underlying cause of your child's behavior.
Seek help from a school psychologist, social worker, or children's mental
health centre in the community if you would like support in working with your
child.
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